Good Morning! Aaaaaaah, the best part of waking up is Starbucks in your cup. Or Folgers. Or anything else you can get your hands on. I am currently enjoying the last pot of coffee from the Starbucks beans that my wife bought me awhile ago. I know what you’re thinking: wow, he’s drinking Starbucks at home, he must be RICH! Well, I’m not rich, she just found this bag of beans in the clearance rack at the store, because it was past the expiration date or something. I think it does taste a bit on the funny side, but it’s been ok otherwise. And it’s like the wise man said, “Even bad coffee is still good coffee.”
I love the smell of coffee. I love the taste of coffee. I love drinking it in the privacy of my home. I love drinking it at a coffee shop and pretending to be witty and pretentious along with all the other coffee addicts. I do, however, hate paying $4 for a cup of coffee, but I will still occasionally pay it because IT’S THAT GOOD! Usually, I’m just as happy to go to a coffee shop and only pay the $1.25 for a cup of regular coffee. Usually it is just as rich and yummy as the expensive stuff.
Anyway, I was browsing around the net this morning, and here are a few jokes and facts about coffee, for your enjoyment:
Joke:
I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee made him nervous. I said why don’t you quit drinking coffee. He said, “because if I didn’t have the shakes I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.” (that’s the story of my life!)
And from the “That’s not very punny” dept:
I have heard that if your wife/husband makes bad coffee, that is grounds for divorce.
A Few Facts about why Coffee is better then Women:
A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.
You can make coffee as sweet as you want.
Coffee smells and tastes good.
You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.
No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.
You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.
Coffee doesn’t take up half your bed.
Put Coffee in your Gas tank!
If I put my favorite coffee in my car’s gas tank, a Starbucks triple shot grande mocha with no whip cream, It would cost about $40 a gallon to fill up my car. (according to the prices at the Starbucks in Ankeny anyway.) Of course, I would also need about $15,000 to fix the damage that would cost to my vehicle.
I figured out that I drink about 125 gallons of coffee in a year. And I’m sure that’s a low estimate. It’s a good think that I’ve cut back on my coffee drinking since I was a teenager. It was bad. All the pictures of me from my teenage years are blurry because of the constant shaking.
Now, everyone go out and have a cup of coffee in honor of me.
I despise coffee. First, it smells terrible in the morning. It also tastes atrocious. But most importantly is this whole pretentious subculture around coffee. Need I say more?
Hmmmm, I think you might not like coffee Ray. Just a thought.
I think it smells wonderful in the morning, it usually tastes great, and I like to hang out with all the pretentious subculture people just to annoy them. I can imagine them sipping their $45 cafe mocha chai tea latte americano quad shot with extra foam and whip cream (note: that’s not a real coffee and probably wold taste horrible), muttering into their finely groomed and equally pretentious companion’s ear, “Who let THAT guy in? This place is going to the dumps”.
Coffee is wonderful! I have a cup every morning! Joel and I get the south American instant stuff that’s made by the same company that they get their coffee in Brasil. The coffe brand we use is Nes Caffe , at least I think thats how its spelled and there’s an accent mark thingy over the e. It’s really yummy to drink cold too. Just put a spoonful of instant coffee in a cup with 3 1/2 spoonfuls of sugar then fill about 1/4 of the cup full of hot water, stir to dissolve then fill the rest the way with cold milk and stir, stir, stir! Yum! Anywho…as my husband says “Coffee is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!”
By the way…is there anything that Ray Ray does like?
O I like a thing or two… but until you’ve worked next to a coffee factory, you don’t know the truth. And I really don’t like it when people deny the truth: Coffee really does smell terrible in the morning, and it does taste atrocious. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Coffee is proof that if you say something enough everyone will start believing it.
I think coffee smells awesome, but tastes yuck. I kind of wish I liked it though, because I’ve always wanted to ask someone (anyone) if they wanted to go out for a cup of coffee.
I would like to say, however, that not ALL women take up 1/2 the bed. I, for one, take up more like 3/4’s of the bed!
Boy, Karen, way to be blunt!!! She doesn’t get it from me I swear
Hm, I will admit that most gas station coffee tastes horrible but usually smells pretty good. But that’s because most of it has been sitting around all day and is scorched, burnt, stale, and has the last guys armpit sweat floating in it. We pretentious coffee purists know that there are 3 keys to a good cup of coffee: freshness, freshness, freshness! And, just so we’re all clear on this, I, as an official representative for the Institute of Research and Proliferation of Yummy Yummy Coffee (the IRPYYC for short) Coffee does smell good and it tastes good. I could understand how the smells coming from a coffee factory would make you think it tastes bad. Mix the smells of a factory with anything and you have instant revulsion. But of course, I don’t get my coffee from a giant factory vat. It comes in nice little containers that seal in all the fresh yummy goodness! MMMMM-MMMM! Besides, this is my website, so what I say goes around here (”right out the window!”) Sorry, obscure joke.
The reason most coffee-haters hate the taste of coffee is that they’ve only had the nasty American variety which tastes like bitter dirt in comparison to Brazilian (and probably most of the rest of the world’s) coffee. Though, I will admit that Starbucks isn’t half bad if they doctor it with enough flavorings and stuff . . . the price, however, is absurd (though I still drink it occasionally).
To Me, Coffee is the elixir of life — You and your sister get your love of coffee from me. Actually, Grandma K was the big coffee drinker (Norse thing I guess) I’m a 35 to 40 cups a day man myself. Figure out how many cups I drink from the time I was around 13 till I went into the Navy where I really developed a taste of that wonderful brew and why I can still fall fast asleep at night and don’t shake. By the way “decaf” isn’t part of my coffee system. So go ahead and enjoy your coffee. It is the best.
I dunno, I’ve been to the Nestle chocolate factory and that smelled pretty good.
I think coffee generally smells okay. Although the coffee at the McDonald’s that we always stopped at for breakfast on the way to New York always made me want to barf. It smelled nasty!
Dad! I was gonna mention that you were the one that gave me my first taste of coffee. I still can’t believe you drink that much coffee in a day. You’re my coffee hero dad! One day, I hope to attain the high level of caffienated tolerance that you have achieved.
And Joel, if Brazillian coffee tastes better then American coffee, then pass me that missionary pith helmet and those kahki shorts, cause I’m going South!